How To Be Close To Someone - The Sure Way

Befriending a person is easy. One can just crack a silly joke, share a heartfelt story, compliment another’s outfit and yes, you get the idea. Being close to them? That is a different story. It is not something that can be done overnight. It takes a long time and investment of mutually earned trust. It may involve some fights, or years of misunderstanding before eventually realizing that you’re starting to really like the person. But difficult as it may be, I may have insights that can help you pull a friend closer to you.

Of course, it involves a lot of coercion and torture conversation exchange—preferably a face-to-face one, where you could directly feel their emotions on the manner of how they speak, where there couldn’t be any barriers of communication and you can actually understand the tone of their message.

A hearty conversation is essential in keeping your bonds strong. It’s like the more you share the more seeds you plant in them that will grow and eventually bear fruit. Sharing of secrets is the surest way in capturing their hearts (and scaring them for sure, jk). Just make sure that it’s something very important to you. An example might be is that you did something terrible before because of… reasons or you’re secretly resenting someone because he’s racist or sexist, etc.

It’s a risk. And your friend knows this. But in his perspective, it’s like receiving a message stating, “I’m letting you know about this shit of mine and I’m trusting you this with all my life. Share this to anyone and I will bury you alive.”

Just kidding.

It simply says, I trust you.

And with this, your friend will be compelled to share his secret too, thus closing in the bond that you have—along with a signed 20+ pages of a non-disclosure agreement sealed with two drops of your blood.   

Just find the perfect timing. Don’t spill everything out when the other is busy or when you’re in a crowded place. Don’t tell a very important information when both of you are taking a poo. C’mon, I know you know appropriacy. I’m trusting you on that.

Another ingredient of being close to someone is a blood of a virgin active listening. When I say active listening, you’re not just there nodding to whatever someone has to say while you’re busy thinking of what you’re supposed to say next. You should be simply listening and showing empathy.

For me, I’d rather hear someone say, “That’s awful…” when I talk about something awful, instead of someone who’ll give unsolicited solutions to any problem I have. I don’t like those people who thinks it’s their job to fix everyone’s problems and that their advices always matter. Most of the time, people just wanted to be heard and they’ll appreciate it if you just stay silent and assure them that you understand the weight they’re carrying. I suggest you better be that friend. We need more of these listeners.

Lastly, invest time. Knowing a friend cares about me will surely make me consider them as a close friend. So do the same. What’s hard about casually asking “How are you?” or sending a meme to a friend when they’re lonely? I’m sure if you really are dedicated to make someone close to you, the greatest thing to do is caring about them when no one else does.

And when you’re already close to them, move to the next step: marry them!

Haha! Kidding!