“Am I Still Their Friend?” – A High School Reunion Dilemma

Nothing beats high school when it comes to the most memorable moments we share in life. It contributed a lot in shaping who we are now. There, we made friends to have a shoulder to cry on over our adolescent problems that we thought would be too much for us to take, yet were just incomparable to what we’re dealing with now in our present days. Admit it, we missed everything we did in highschool. Even though not all were good. It’s our high school friends who made those so special.

So why the fear of reuniting with them?

I asked myself this just days ago, before I came home to my hometown to see them. “Am I still their friend?”

I know, it’s weird I asked myself that. But I was among those who grew apart from them after I graduated in High school. The great distance was a real bitch. It affected my relationship with them so deeply, so you can’t really blame me for fearing if there would still be anyone happy to see me after a long time. In fact, it was almost 8 years since I last saw them in person, so, yeah, the fear is real and strong. I was a little bit shaky when I got to our meeting place waiting for them to come, doing a last-minute practice of greeting them one by one.

Aside from the distance, I listed some of the other reasons why anyone would decline to go in a high school reunion:

• Fear of not being successful enough
• This is the most common reason I think. People expect reunions as a display of social status. A competition to see who among you have reached the top spot. One would wear extravagance as a form of defense for their ego. And there’s that lingering dread of anyone who would dare ask you about your fortune.
• Your friends only remembering who you once been
• What if the embarrassing thing you did years before was still plastered in your head? What if it still overshadows the real you?
• A former classmate, who unfortunately was your ex
• Or anyone from your classmate that you once hurt before

So what should you do to stop this fear overwhelming you?

Know that this isn’t about you.

You are going to a reunion not to prove anything, but to strengthen the bond you once had. This reunion is organized to ask how everyone was doing. Think of this as an opportunity to bask yourselves in nostalgia as you narrate all the moments you shared with them before. Visit your school, talk with your former teachers. Hug your classmates. I swear you will be missing a lot if you let go of this opportunity.

It was just on February 23, 2020 when I travelled from Cavite back to Pangasinan to meet with my high school classmates. This mini-reunion was organized by our High school valedictorian, with the aim of surprising and visiting our fourth year high school adviser. Out of almost 40 students, only 15 confirmed. Yes, I know, what a shame. But still, this is bigger the number than what we expected. A real blessing indeed.

At first, you could feel everyone trying on a different version of themselves as a form of defense mechanism, but later on, those masks would fall, the lower voice would adjust back to a more familiar tone and you could actually feel like you’re talking to your younger 16-year-old versions. The jokers are still jokers, smiles still as wide as you once saw them, and the top of the class still has that superior tone, like any moment you would expect yourselves to undergo another recital.

To answer the question above, I could positively say yes. It may be a long time since you once talked, like almost 8 years? But once you all started talking, it would feel like everything happened for just a short time. There was never a dull moment. It’s one of my most happiest.

If there is an upcoming reunion in your group, then I encourage you to come! You need it, I swear.

If there isn’t one, then I think you better start assembling them now. Yes, you! What if all it needed to take was one brave person to initiate an invite?